Well, I have been living in community with others for an
entire month now.
It’s not as easy as I thought it would be. On Thursday, Tag,
one of our leaders, placed a challenge on us that we had to partake in: we were
not allowed to buy anything for ourselves for the next 24 hours. Other people
had to buy it for us.
AHHHH…. This is so hard for me. I hate letting people buy
things for me.
Rules: We couldn’t buy anything for ourselves. And we have
to ask for one thing during this next day. So, we had to ask for help. That
meant if we had to go to the doctor, others had to pay for it. If we wanted a
soda, other people had to pay for it. If we needed anything at all… others had
to pay for it. For me, I don’t mind paying for other people’s things. I just
have trouble relying on others. I like being independent in that sense… at
least when it comes to my friends and my peers. It is really hard for me to ask
for help. It’s hard to even ask my parents for help. I hate feeling inadequate.
This challenge was teaching me specifically to lean on
others. And it is showing me the meaning in a kind of off-the-wall way. One
thing we need to survive is money… and that money buys us the things that are
essential… as well as the things we want. Now because of our needs, we have
begun to lean on money rather than leaning on the body that is supposed to help
support us. I got through this challenge just fine. I asked for some vet coek,
a South African specialty that I love. So, one of my teammates bought one for
me, and the other got me a fanta. And I gladly bought things for my friends
when they were in need. That one day challenge was no problem.
The next day, we debriefed this challenge as a team, and Tag
decided that it wasn’t over. So this continued, and is still going on. It
should end before beat the drum. We’re having to learn to rely on our team for
little things, such as a coke, so that we can begin to trust them with the big
things. But for me, I got another twist on this challenge. Let’s just say that
living in community, we share EVERYTHING, sickness included. I started to
become sick over the weekend, and I tried to avoid being bed-ridden. But the
sickness got the best of me, and on Monday I was out all day. This was hard for
me. I had to ask for help. That is what this challenge is all about… asking for
help! So being sick was the worst thing that could happen, or the best should I
say. I was stuck in bed: no way to get food, no way to get a drink, no way to
do anything… unless I asked my team for help. When I am at home, it is so easy
to ask my parents for medicine, a cold rag, or even chicken noodle soup, but
this was not as easy. I had to ask my team for vitamins, for water, for fruit,
for dinner, but they came through. They supported me so much, and through something
so small, I learned I could rely on my team. I now don’t seem to have too much
of a problem to ask my team for things that I need.
Slowly but surely, I am learning more and more about
community. I know that we need it. As human beings, we all are wired for
relationships, for love, for community. And through these next 9 months, I am
on a journey of learning more and more about what it is. This is just one
simple experiment.
Here’s a few Prayer Request:
Pray for growth among my team, and for unity to continue to
grow stronger. Pray for vulnerability, so that we can grow together through our
weaknesses. We need prayer over our health. We need prayer lavished over Beat The Drum!
That’s all! Love y’all!!!!
-Roth
